Let me just start by saying that there is great irony in the title of this entry. Silence. I initially wanted to call this silence because it has been so long since I have written in here. I suppose you could call it blog silence. I have not written in here or anywhere else for quite a while. There has been silence, or maybe absence, in some areas of my life.
The irony is that in the midst of that "silence" my life has been full of noise. The noise has been very literal at times, and figurative, yet no less powerful, at other times. Since the new year began, I have changed job responsibilities abruptly, had sick kids a lot, recovered from my own surgery and illnesses, gone through many emotional ups and downs, wrestled with the future, and enjoyed a lot of great moments with my family.
The noise has been both good and bad. It has been encouraging and challenging. Yet for a person that is a natural introvert, the noise gradually builds from sound bites here and there to a constant roar that consumes me. It is the noise of students at work that need so much help in their lives. It is the noise of social media grasping for my attention to make sure I don't miss what is going on in the life of a person I kind of know through an acquaintance. It is the noise of children who want me to delight in them and celebrate their every action. It is the noise of decisions and future plans. The noise of budgets, income, and bills. Everything competes for a bit of my time and attention.
Noise isn't a bad thing. I think that I just find myself getting so overwhelmed by noise at times that I forget to carve out time for being quiet. Time to sit and do nothing. Time to write. Time to read a book that isn't intellectually stimulating. There is no grand point to all of this. I simply am acknowledging that I have let so much noise into my head and life that I have "silenced" some areas of my life that are very important. How often do we sacrifice what is important for what is immediate? How often do I trade what I value for the many things around me that fight for my attention - demanding that they are somehow vital to my life? Am I just afraid of what I will hear when I am silent?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
A New Year
So 2010 has started. A new year is supposed to bring new expectations, hope, a fresh start, and even an eagerness for life right? Well I woke up today, after only a couple of hours of sleep, exhausted, in pain, and lacking any motivation whatsoever. The truth is that I am kind of at the end of myself.
2009 was a good year by many accounts. There were no great tragedies in my family. My girls continued to grow and learn and change in wonderful and confusing ways. My job changed several times but finally settled into something more predictable. Really, it would appear that I don’t really have anything to complain about.
But 2009 was also a very hard year. It seems like the last four months of the year at least two out of the four of us were sick with something. And sick with kids means even less sleep than normal. I spent much of the beginning of the year wondering if I would get enough hours at work and then when I got more hours, they restructured and eliminated the additional part time job I had been doing. So I spent a couple more months looking for something in addition to the part time teaching that might allow me to keep some resemblance of a normal schedule. Finally, I was offered a part time job at the school that complemented the teaching hours I already had. While it was a blessing, it was also a tiring process.
Really it seemed like last year was a whole bunch of small things that all added up to slowly drain the energy and eagerness from my soul. Job uncertainty, car troubles, sickness, confusion about the future, lack of sleep, tragedies in the lives of distant friends, and many other small things seemed to slowly chip away at my optimism. I like to think of myself as optimistic, but the process of continually fighting to hang on to a positive outlook actually gets tiring at times.
To top it all off, I finished the year with a surgery that hopefully will clear up some of my own health and fatigue issues, but even that turned out to be more of an undertaking than we ever expected. The doctor said that it would be a quick surgery and I might be sore for a few days or a week. What he failed to say was that “sore” meant in horrible pain even with prescription pain killers and that “a few days” really meant a couple of weeks. So my extra time off during the holidays was spent in pain, very drugged up, unable to do many of the things we had hoped to do, and unable to let Jamie rest much.
So why do I bring all this up? Truthfully, I guess I just want to lay it all out as I see it. Moving on from where we are can be nearly impossible if we don’t know where we are at. Last night at the gathering of our church, The Porch, there was a song played by Aaron Espe called “Faith and Doubt” which can be heard here http://www.last.fm/music/Aaron+Espe/_/Faith+and+Doubt. The song expresses some of how I feel right now. Here are the lyrics:
I read that Jesus walked the stormy sea and he pulled Peter up
Said, Man you gotta believe me
And he shared with his disciples
Said, Here’s how to be free
If you asked me I'd say most days
I totally agree
But right now I can't pray, I don't feel like talking to God
I need somebody out there with a little skin on them
When I read that story I heard thunder everywhere
I could hear that boat crashing on the waves
The bow is in the air
And I have respect for Peter who had faith enough to dare
Step out onto the water
While all the others stared
And when hell is on your back,
Sometimes you think you got strength and you say,
Hey Lord, save me, I'm drownin' out here!
But I'm caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'm never going to find my way back outta here.
Last night I felt free just like I was a kid
So I laid in the grass and thought of all the things I did
When I didn't know of pressure it was easy to forgive
You didn’t have to be perfect
Not in my neighborhood
I don’t know what year things became so unclear but I’m still here.
But I’m caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'm never going to find my way back outta here.
So as I found myself in tears last night, unable to pray or sing, I simply sat. I cried, not because I had some overwhelming sorrow, but simply because I had nothing else in me. What came out was all that was left in my soul. And in the midst of emptying my soul through my tear ducts, I felt like God said to me that there would again be hope in 2010. Though 2009 felt like a year of “death” and fighting to hang on, 2010 would be a year that saw hope revived.
So while I admit that today I am still caught firmly in the cavernous “somewhere” between faith and doubt, I also hold onto the idea that hope will rise again. That just like the spring will bring new flowers and bright colors out of the cold and frozen ground, so maybe God can revive hope in my cold and weary heart. And it is with that last shred of hope that I say to God, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”
2009 was a good year by many accounts. There were no great tragedies in my family. My girls continued to grow and learn and change in wonderful and confusing ways. My job changed several times but finally settled into something more predictable. Really, it would appear that I don’t really have anything to complain about.
But 2009 was also a very hard year. It seems like the last four months of the year at least two out of the four of us were sick with something. And sick with kids means even less sleep than normal. I spent much of the beginning of the year wondering if I would get enough hours at work and then when I got more hours, they restructured and eliminated the additional part time job I had been doing. So I spent a couple more months looking for something in addition to the part time teaching that might allow me to keep some resemblance of a normal schedule. Finally, I was offered a part time job at the school that complemented the teaching hours I already had. While it was a blessing, it was also a tiring process.
Really it seemed like last year was a whole bunch of small things that all added up to slowly drain the energy and eagerness from my soul. Job uncertainty, car troubles, sickness, confusion about the future, lack of sleep, tragedies in the lives of distant friends, and many other small things seemed to slowly chip away at my optimism. I like to think of myself as optimistic, but the process of continually fighting to hang on to a positive outlook actually gets tiring at times.
To top it all off, I finished the year with a surgery that hopefully will clear up some of my own health and fatigue issues, but even that turned out to be more of an undertaking than we ever expected. The doctor said that it would be a quick surgery and I might be sore for a few days or a week. What he failed to say was that “sore” meant in horrible pain even with prescription pain killers and that “a few days” really meant a couple of weeks. So my extra time off during the holidays was spent in pain, very drugged up, unable to do many of the things we had hoped to do, and unable to let Jamie rest much.
So why do I bring all this up? Truthfully, I guess I just want to lay it all out as I see it. Moving on from where we are can be nearly impossible if we don’t know where we are at. Last night at the gathering of our church, The Porch, there was a song played by Aaron Espe called “Faith and Doubt” which can be heard here http://www.last.fm/music/Aaron+Espe/_/Faith+and+Doubt. The song expresses some of how I feel right now. Here are the lyrics:
I read that Jesus walked the stormy sea and he pulled Peter up
Said, Man you gotta believe me
And he shared with his disciples
Said, Here’s how to be free
If you asked me I'd say most days
I totally agree
But right now I can't pray, I don't feel like talking to God
I need somebody out there with a little skin on them
When I read that story I heard thunder everywhere
I could hear that boat crashing on the waves
The bow is in the air
And I have respect for Peter who had faith enough to dare
Step out onto the water
While all the others stared
And when hell is on your back,
Sometimes you think you got strength and you say,
Hey Lord, save me, I'm drownin' out here!
But I'm caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'm never going to find my way back outta here.
Last night I felt free just like I was a kid
So I laid in the grass and thought of all the things I did
When I didn't know of pressure it was easy to forgive
You didn’t have to be perfect
Not in my neighborhood
I don’t know what year things became so unclear but I’m still here.
But I’m caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'm never going to find my way back outta here.
So as I found myself in tears last night, unable to pray or sing, I simply sat. I cried, not because I had some overwhelming sorrow, but simply because I had nothing else in me. What came out was all that was left in my soul. And in the midst of emptying my soul through my tear ducts, I felt like God said to me that there would again be hope in 2010. Though 2009 felt like a year of “death” and fighting to hang on, 2010 would be a year that saw hope revived.
So while I admit that today I am still caught firmly in the cavernous “somewhere” between faith and doubt, I also hold onto the idea that hope will rise again. That just like the spring will bring new flowers and bright colors out of the cold and frozen ground, so maybe God can revive hope in my cold and weary heart. And it is with that last shred of hope that I say to God, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Family Pictures
This summer we had the opportunity to have some amazing photographers and friends of ours take some family pictures of us. I am impressed with them because I know how hard it is to take pictures of kids and actually keep them looking at you the whole time. It gets even more complicated with parents looking at the kids and trying to get them to look as well. Brett and Emily Faulknor were fantastic and did wonderful entertaining the girls and keeping them focused on a hot day for an extended period of time. Not only that, they got some GREAT pictures. So here are a few of them.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Crazy Summer
This summer has seemed especially crazy to me. Maybe it is life with two young children. Or maybe it is all of the different things we try to pack into the summer months. I think that partially, it is the fact that everyone in the Spokane area is fully aware that winter is coming again, and it is hard to predict how long our activities might be limited by the winter weather. Regardless of the reasons why, this summer has been busy.
Early in July we had the chance to pack up our little car and go on a road trip. We drove about 1800 miles in 9 days, saw most of Jamie's family, spent time with friends in Redding, went on a safari, and spent some mostly sleepless nights in a hotel. It was great to be at the cabin with family and really fun to spend some relaxing days at Trinity Lake. We got to swim, wakeboard, fish, and just enjoy being together. Natalie especially loved the time with family and still talks about her aunts and uncles and cousin Micah all the time. I think her favorite part was having two dogs around though. A lot of times she would just follow Cooper and Bailey around and talk to them and give them hugs and kisses. The girl truly loves animals. We then spent a couple of short days in Redding and really had a good time catching up with some good friends.
Since then, we have been busy enjoying the summer back at our house. We had some friends visit us from Redding a couple weekends ago and it was a special treat to spend time with Derrick and Danielle twice in the same month. Plus Natalie loved playing with Judah and Zoe and now she wants us to get her some transformers, since Judah had some that he played with a lot. After they left, both girls came down with a ridiculous throat virus that causes a severely painful sore throat so that they did not want to swallow anything - including their own saliva. We had to force them to drink to stay hydrated and mostly they just cried because of the pain and the high fever as well. Thankfully they are mostly healed from that now.
In the last few days, Kaia has pretty much decided that she is going to walk. A few days ago she would take a step or two before falling, but now she is often going most of the way across a room before falling. She is a determined little girl and progressing rapidly. It is crazy to see two little girls walking around our house now!
So that is a brief synopsis of the things happening in our world this summer. More to follow, including deep and profound thoughts. I just need to find someone willing to share those thoughts with me first...
Early in July we had the chance to pack up our little car and go on a road trip. We drove about 1800 miles in 9 days, saw most of Jamie's family, spent time with friends in Redding, went on a safari, and spent some mostly sleepless nights in a hotel. It was great to be at the cabin with family and really fun to spend some relaxing days at Trinity Lake. We got to swim, wakeboard, fish, and just enjoy being together. Natalie especially loved the time with family and still talks about her aunts and uncles and cousin Micah all the time. I think her favorite part was having two dogs around though. A lot of times she would just follow Cooper and Bailey around and talk to them and give them hugs and kisses. The girl truly loves animals. We then spent a couple of short days in Redding and really had a good time catching up with some good friends.
Since then, we have been busy enjoying the summer back at our house. We had some friends visit us from Redding a couple weekends ago and it was a special treat to spend time with Derrick and Danielle twice in the same month. Plus Natalie loved playing with Judah and Zoe and now she wants us to get her some transformers, since Judah had some that he played with a lot. After they left, both girls came down with a ridiculous throat virus that causes a severely painful sore throat so that they did not want to swallow anything - including their own saliva. We had to force them to drink to stay hydrated and mostly they just cried because of the pain and the high fever as well. Thankfully they are mostly healed from that now.
In the last few days, Kaia has pretty much decided that she is going to walk. A few days ago she would take a step or two before falling, but now she is often going most of the way across a room before falling. She is a determined little girl and progressing rapidly. It is crazy to see two little girls walking around our house now!
So that is a brief synopsis of the things happening in our world this summer. More to follow, including deep and profound thoughts. I just need to find someone willing to share those thoughts with me first...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Truth
Brownie bear was my favorite stuffed animal when I was growing up. He was the one stuffed animal that I slept with every night for years. In fact, his right arm is permanently bent downward form where it was tucked under my left arm. On the other side, his left arm is curved upward from where I would grip it with my left hand and pull him close to me. His face is also lopsided from me laying on him for years. His ears are worn down and he has boots that my grandma sewed on after his feet got holes. He also has a hand knit sweater that my grandma made him. Consider yourself officially introduced to Brownie bear.
For several months now, Natalie has had Brownie on her bed, along with a plethora of other animals, when she sleeps. We have told her repeatedly to be careful with him since he is very old and he used to be Daddy's bear. The other day, Jamie went into Natalie's room after a nap and found Natalie quite concerned about Brownie bear. You see, Brownie's arm had come out of his sweater. Natalie has tried to take the sweater off before, but we asked her to leave it on so it doesn't get lost, or stretched out, etc. Anyway, Jamie asked Natalie how Brownie's arm came out of his sweater and Natalie said " I don't know". Jamie then asked if Natalie had taken it out of the sweater to which Natalie replied, "I'm a little baby, I can't tell you the truth."
What in the world kid?
For several months now, Natalie has had Brownie on her bed, along with a plethora of other animals, when she sleeps. We have told her repeatedly to be careful with him since he is very old and he used to be Daddy's bear. The other day, Jamie went into Natalie's room after a nap and found Natalie quite concerned about Brownie bear. You see, Brownie's arm had come out of his sweater. Natalie has tried to take the sweater off before, but we asked her to leave it on so it doesn't get lost, or stretched out, etc. Anyway, Jamie asked Natalie how Brownie's arm came out of his sweater and Natalie said " I don't know". Jamie then asked if Natalie had taken it out of the sweater to which Natalie replied, "I'm a little baby, I can't tell you the truth."
What in the world kid?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Glimpses of Life Right Now
Kaia is crawling. That is enough to keep anyone busy. She started crawling a few weeks ago and ever since then, she is a speedy little kid who loves to crawl over to all the things she isn't supposed to get into and try to steal a few glorious moments of forbidden pleasure. For instance, she loves to suck and chew on shoes. As you can imagine, that is not the most sanitary of practices, so we have been hiding our shoes lately. She also loves to crawl to the book shelf and pull books off of it before we can get to her. She doesn't seem to want to play with them, just pull them off the shelf. She is a very determined and curious little girl.
Natalie isa walking now. Ok, she has been walking for well over a year and a half. She is still an incredibly intelligent little girl who has started asking the "why" questions a lot more. She is eager to understand why we tell her to do things, or not do them. She is curious about what we are doing and why we are doing it. The most impressive thing to me though is her large vocabulary and her articulate way of communicating. She sommunicates really well with kids who are several years older than herself, so it actually makes it hard for them to understand that she is not close to them in age. We find that older kids often treat her like an older kid herself. This creates some issues when they expect her to understand certain things that are beyond the grasp of a two year old. She does really good though for the most part. It must be hard being so smart sometimes!
One of our favorite things in the world lately is to see our daughters interact and make each other laugh. It is so great to see them light up and smile with pure joy when they play together or see each other first thing in the morning. We have learned though, that Kaia laughs at just about everything that Natalie does. That includes when Natalie is a bit rough with her. Yesterday, Jamie heard the girls both laughing and giggling a lot and when in the other room to see what was so funny. It turns out that Kaia was laying on her back and Natalie had laid on top of her with her arms and legs spread out like superman! I guess it is good that Kaia finds that sort of thing funny, we just have to be careful because it encourages Natalie to play rough. I mean seriously Kaia, don't laugh at your sister when she is hitting you, kicking you, or pushing you over - it just makes our job that much harder.
Anyway, that is a glimpse of our life right now with two wonderful girls.
Natalie isa walking now. Ok, she has been walking for well over a year and a half. She is still an incredibly intelligent little girl who has started asking the "why" questions a lot more. She is eager to understand why we tell her to do things, or not do them. She is curious about what we are doing and why we are doing it. The most impressive thing to me though is her large vocabulary and her articulate way of communicating. She sommunicates really well with kids who are several years older than herself, so it actually makes it hard for them to understand that she is not close to them in age. We find that older kids often treat her like an older kid herself. This creates some issues when they expect her to understand certain things that are beyond the grasp of a two year old. She does really good though for the most part. It must be hard being so smart sometimes!
One of our favorite things in the world lately is to see our daughters interact and make each other laugh. It is so great to see them light up and smile with pure joy when they play together or see each other first thing in the morning. We have learned though, that Kaia laughs at just about everything that Natalie does. That includes when Natalie is a bit rough with her. Yesterday, Jamie heard the girls both laughing and giggling a lot and when in the other room to see what was so funny. It turns out that Kaia was laying on her back and Natalie had laid on top of her with her arms and legs spread out like superman! I guess it is good that Kaia finds that sort of thing funny, we just have to be careful because it encourages Natalie to play rough. I mean seriously Kaia, don't laugh at your sister when she is hitting you, kicking you, or pushing you over - it just makes our job that much harder.
Anyway, that is a glimpse of our life right now with two wonderful girls.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Bad Drivers
I am not sure what the real cause is, but it seems like there are a lot more bad drivers around this area than there used to be. Maybe my memory is being too generous with the past. Or maybe more people are just trying to drive while texting on their cell phones. Then again, maybe people are just truly as clueless about traffic rules as they appear to be.
When we lived inthe Philippines, the traffic appeared to be chaos at first. Yet after observing it for a while, it started to become clear that there was a definite system at work. It was very different from what I was used to, but since everyone seemed to be using that same system it worked. When I started driving there, it became even more clear. What appeared to be chaos was just a very fluid system of give and take - kind of like water flowing down a hill and finding the path of least resistance.
Coming back to the United States was an adjustment at first. I still slowed down for green lights in case traffic just decided to go on a red light. I found myself slightly more aggressive in my driving habits at times. Also, my awareness of motorcycles increased greatly. I gradually settled back into the "system" that we have in place here where people are expected to obey the laws, merge safely, and actually pay attention to lane lines. the problem seems to be that there are a handful of people trying to mix the two different systems. The vast majority of people here try to follow the laws but the ones that don't, either purposefully or because they are oblivious, create some serious safety issues. So for now, let me just express a few of my frustrations specifically.
Four way stops: Please learn the "right-of-way" concept! The first person to arrive is the first person to go. If two cars arrive at the same time, the person on the right goes first. It really should not be that hard. I mean the term "right-of-way" actually has the word "right" in it.
Merging on the Freeway: When you merge with traffic you are actually supposed to look and see if there are cars already in the lane. You can't just drive onto the freeway without even looking at the existing traffic in the nearest lane. Another key to merging is to be going close to the speed of the traffic on the freeway. It is NOT good to come to a near stop and wait for an opening to try and get in.
Turning: When there are multiple turn lanes, the car in the inside turn lane is supposed to turn into the nearest lane.
Changing lanes: When you need to change lanes, put on your turn signal and gradually merge into the next lane when there is an opening. It is NOT safe to just stop in the middle of a four lane road and put your turn signal on hoping that traffic will stop and let you in.
I suppose that is enough complaining for now. I think I just expected to feel at least as safe on our roads as I did in the Philippines, but I often find myself more frustrated and nervous here than I usually did there. Driving is for real, take it seriously.
When we lived inthe Philippines, the traffic appeared to be chaos at first. Yet after observing it for a while, it started to become clear that there was a definite system at work. It was very different from what I was used to, but since everyone seemed to be using that same system it worked. When I started driving there, it became even more clear. What appeared to be chaos was just a very fluid system of give and take - kind of like water flowing down a hill and finding the path of least resistance.
Coming back to the United States was an adjustment at first. I still slowed down for green lights in case traffic just decided to go on a red light. I found myself slightly more aggressive in my driving habits at times. Also, my awareness of motorcycles increased greatly. I gradually settled back into the "system" that we have in place here where people are expected to obey the laws, merge safely, and actually pay attention to lane lines. the problem seems to be that there are a handful of people trying to mix the two different systems. The vast majority of people here try to follow the laws but the ones that don't, either purposefully or because they are oblivious, create some serious safety issues. So for now, let me just express a few of my frustrations specifically.
Four way stops: Please learn the "right-of-way" concept! The first person to arrive is the first person to go. If two cars arrive at the same time, the person on the right goes first. It really should not be that hard. I mean the term "right-of-way" actually has the word "right" in it.
Merging on the Freeway: When you merge with traffic you are actually supposed to look and see if there are cars already in the lane. You can't just drive onto the freeway without even looking at the existing traffic in the nearest lane. Another key to merging is to be going close to the speed of the traffic on the freeway. It is NOT good to come to a near stop and wait for an opening to try and get in.
Turning: When there are multiple turn lanes, the car in the inside turn lane is supposed to turn into the nearest lane.
Changing lanes: When you need to change lanes, put on your turn signal and gradually merge into the next lane when there is an opening. It is NOT safe to just stop in the middle of a four lane road and put your turn signal on hoping that traffic will stop and let you in.
I suppose that is enough complaining for now. I think I just expected to feel at least as safe on our roads as I did in the Philippines, but I often find myself more frustrated and nervous here than I usually did there. Driving is for real, take it seriously.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Anomalies of Parenting
Why is it that when kids get to bed later than normal, and are more tired than normal, they seem to sleep worse?
How does Natalie hear me so accurately when I mumble something (sometimes not appropriate) under my breath, but she fails to hear me speak the words "no" or "stop" when she is right in front of me?
How do my girls test every last piece of my patience and yet manage to completely melt my hear with one look or sometimes a few words?
How can someone so small and seemingly helpless teach me so much about myself, life, and what is important? I thought I was supposed to teach them?
How does Natalie hear me so accurately when I mumble something (sometimes not appropriate) under my breath, but she fails to hear me speak the words "no" or "stop" when she is right in front of me?
How do my girls test every last piece of my patience and yet manage to completely melt my hear with one look or sometimes a few words?
How can someone so small and seemingly helpless teach me so much about myself, life, and what is important? I thought I was supposed to teach them?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Reading
The other day Natalie brought out a couple of Curious George books while I was sitting in the living room with Kaia. I asked her if she wanted me to read them to her and she emphatically told me that SHE was going to read them to ME. So I sat back as she opened "Curious George Goes Camping". Keep in mind that we have only had this book for about two weeks and we might read it to her once a day or occasionally twice. Natalie started on the first page and "read" it word for word! I was surprised but I figured that maybe she had the first page or two memorized, but after that she would just make something up while looking at the pictures. The crazy thing is that she turned each page and told me exactly what each page said with the exception of a word here and there. I am pretty sure she can't truly read yet, but she had the whole story memorized word for word! By the time she was at the end of the story I could hardly congratulate her enough...I was just so amazed. But I guess Natalie has always had a really good memory.
But who knows, maybe she is starting to read. The week before Easter, a local church came to hang fliers on our door knob telling us about their Easter services. I grabbed the flier and set it on the table where Natalie found it. She picked it up and asked me what it had on it. I told her it was words and asked her if she could tell me what words it had on it. She said "God". OK, I figured she just made a guess, and as coincidence would have it, it was a church flier that DID actually have the word "God" on it. So I asked her where the word "God" was and she pointed directly at it! This kid amazes me and kind of scares me already.
But who knows, maybe she is starting to read. The week before Easter, a local church came to hang fliers on our door knob telling us about their Easter services. I grabbed the flier and set it on the table where Natalie found it. She picked it up and asked me what it had on it. I told her it was words and asked her if she could tell me what words it had on it. She said "God". OK, I figured she just made a guess, and as coincidence would have it, it was a church flier that DID actually have the word "God" on it. So I asked her where the word "God" was and she pointed directly at it! This kid amazes me and kind of scares me already.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Camels
About a week ago we decided to take the scenic route home from town. We drove out through the countryside where I grew up and decided to go past a farm where the owner has collected and bred exotic animals for several decades now. While there was not a lot of animals there this time, we did get to see a couple camels and a cute "little" camel that looked like it had been recently born.
Natalie liked seeing the camels, but I did not realize that she remembered the event so well since it was pretty short. Well, this weekend we went to my parents house for Easter. The first morning we were there, four elk walked through my parent's yard pretty close to their house. As we all looked out the window and watched them, Natalie said, "look at the camels." So there may not be many wild camels just outside Seattle, but at least she has a good memory and associated them with a similar animal.
Natalie liked seeing the camels, but I did not realize that she remembered the event so well since it was pretty short. Well, this weekend we went to my parents house for Easter. The first morning we were there, four elk walked through my parent's yard pretty close to their house. As we all looked out the window and watched them, Natalie said, "look at the camels." So there may not be many wild camels just outside Seattle, but at least she has a good memory and associated them with a similar animal.
Potty Training
So we are starting the gradual process of potty training with Natalie. It has definitely been a gradual process as we are trying to encourage her to tell us when she needs to go to the bathroom but she often doesn't say anything. So we have started to try to find ways to motivate her. We will cheer for her, clap, sing songs, and tell her how proud we are when she does use the toilet and that seems to help a bit, but so far the most effective motivator is if we give her a hanful of M&M's every time she goes to the bathroom in the toilet.
Well a couple weeks ago we were at some friends house when we noticed that Natalie had followed one of their daughters into the bathroom and was standing right in front of her watching her go to the bathroom. Jamie rushed in to tell Natalie that we needed to let her have her privacy. The other girl was about four or five years old so I would guess that she has been potty trained for a while. When Jamie told Natalie to leave the bathroom and let her be alone Natalie looked up hat her and said very sincerely, "But I am just so proud of her!" As Jamie held back her laughter and started to pull Natalie out of the bathroom, Natalie broke out in a cheer and said , "Yay!" and started clapping for her.
Well I guess we have at least been successful in teaching her that going to the bathroom in a toilet is something to be celebrated...now we just have to teach her the appropriate time for celebrating and the people to celebrate with!
Well a couple weeks ago we were at some friends house when we noticed that Natalie had followed one of their daughters into the bathroom and was standing right in front of her watching her go to the bathroom. Jamie rushed in to tell Natalie that we needed to let her have her privacy. The other girl was about four or five years old so I would guess that she has been potty trained for a while. When Jamie told Natalie to leave the bathroom and let her be alone Natalie looked up hat her and said very sincerely, "But I am just so proud of her!" As Jamie held back her laughter and started to pull Natalie out of the bathroom, Natalie broke out in a cheer and said , "Yay!" and started clapping for her.
Well I guess we have at least been successful in teaching her that going to the bathroom in a toilet is something to be celebrated...now we just have to teach her the appropriate time for celebrating and the people to celebrate with!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Going on a Date
So last week Natalie started asking more about times when Jamie and I would go out on a "date". So we decided it was time for me to take her on a date. I have taken her out to do special things before, but this one was actually called a "date".
So Natalie got all dressed up in a pretty dress, put on some make up, and borrowed a pretty necklace from Jamie. Then we left for our date. We headed to a pet store for the first stop. While we were driving there, Natalie asked me when we would get to the date. I told her that we were already on the date but she quickly corrected me saying, "no we're not on a date, we're on the road". Ok, so the concept of a date as an event might be a ways off. She actually asked me that several times throughout the night.
So the pet store was fun, and she had a great time walking around a large glass tank, chasing a tortoise. She also like the tarantula and the birds a lot this time. In fact, she told me that when she was older she was going to get a pet bird so that she could "throw it up to the ceiling and it could fly all around and around and around and around." Maybe I will just get her a hamster.
After the pet store, we went to dinner at IHOP to get some pancakes. She was very polite and after I had ordered our food she looked at the waitress very pleadingly and said, "please can I have some pancakes?" Apparently she did not realize that I ordered her food as well as my own. Either way it was very cute. then to finish off the night, we went to a store down the road and bought her a magnifying glass. She had seen one somewhere and liked them, so I got one for her to play with.
It was a fun date, but the best part was at dinner when she just leaned her head into me and said "I love you daddy." That is what it's all about. She can make my heart melt like none other.
So Natalie got all dressed up in a pretty dress, put on some make up, and borrowed a pretty necklace from Jamie. Then we left for our date. We headed to a pet store for the first stop. While we were driving there, Natalie asked me when we would get to the date. I told her that we were already on the date but she quickly corrected me saying, "no we're not on a date, we're on the road". Ok, so the concept of a date as an event might be a ways off. She actually asked me that several times throughout the night.
So the pet store was fun, and she had a great time walking around a large glass tank, chasing a tortoise. She also like the tarantula and the birds a lot this time. In fact, she told me that when she was older she was going to get a pet bird so that she could "throw it up to the ceiling and it could fly all around and around and around and around." Maybe I will just get her a hamster.
After the pet store, we went to dinner at IHOP to get some pancakes. She was very polite and after I had ordered our food she looked at the waitress very pleadingly and said, "please can I have some pancakes?" Apparently she did not realize that I ordered her food as well as my own. Either way it was very cute. then to finish off the night, we went to a store down the road and bought her a magnifying glass. She had seen one somewhere and liked them, so I got one for her to play with.
It was a fun date, but the best part was at dinner when she just leaned her head into me and said "I love you daddy." That is what it's all about. She can make my heart melt like none other.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Sickness, sleep deprivation, and bad dreams
So we have all been sick off an on for a few weeks now and seem to be passing around the colds and recycling them in our house. It is a miserable version of the cold that settles in your chest and gets you all congested in their so that you cough and sound like you are trying to cough up a wet rag. Anyway, that has led to less sleep than normal (it is possible) and long nights. Last night was actually a "good" night in my opinion because I was only up 6 times, and only one of those lasted more than 15 minutes.
The most interesting part of the night though was when Natalie woke up screaming. I went in her room and she was crying and saying something about holding hands with Grover from Sesame Street. Apparently she had a bad dream that involved Grover, her, and her having to let go of his hand. It breaks your heart to have your child wake up from a nightmare, but at the same time, it is hard not to laugh out loud when she tells you what the scary dream was. I held it together though and managed to pray with her and rub her head until she was almost asleep again.
Oh, the joys of everyday life!
The most interesting part of the night though was when Natalie woke up screaming. I went in her room and she was crying and saying something about holding hands with Grover from Sesame Street. Apparently she had a bad dream that involved Grover, her, and her having to let go of his hand. It breaks your heart to have your child wake up from a nightmare, but at the same time, it is hard not to laugh out loud when she tells you what the scary dream was. I held it together though and managed to pray with her and rub her head until she was almost asleep again.
Oh, the joys of everyday life!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Politics and a 2 Year Old
So on Tuesday morning, the day of President Barack Obama's inauguration, we decided to flip on the TV and watch what we could of the event. Natalie was a bit disappointed that she didn't get to watch Curious George, so I tried to explain to her that on that day, Barack Obama was becoming our president so we wanted to watch. Shortly after that conversation, I had to leave for work. Then, just a few minutes after I had left, Natalie walked out of her room and came right up to Jamie and said "Barack Obama is coming over today and bringing presents!". If only it could all be that simple - Barack Obama and presents, at our house.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
What a Winter
So the snow just keeps coming. We keep breaking records. Now, on top of all that, it has warmed up abnormally fast and the warm weather is coming with a lot of rain. For those not familiar with snow, it acts like a sponge with rain. Roofs are collapsing, streets are flooding, many schools are still closed and unable to reopen after the Christmas break. Crazy. But I am having fun. Here is an article from the national news.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090107/ap_on_re_us/spokane_snow_blues
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090107/ap_on_re_us/spokane_snow_blues
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
It Just Keeps Coming!
So I guess God really wanted to bless me with a serious winter since I haven't had a "real" one in almost a decade. I keep telling Jamie that this is not normal and that she does not need to worry, but the snow just keeps on coming every couple days and we just keep breaking one record after another!
So my last blog was written after a few inches of snow fell. Well that first storm was a record breaker in that it dropped almost 20 inches of snow in a 24 hour period to register as the highest in a 24 hour period since they started keeping records here in 1893. the storm didn't stop after 24 hours though and we accumulated over two feet. We then got a break long enough to shovel our driveways before the next round of snow hit. A couple days later, we broke a record for the coldest temperature on record at this time of year with -18 degrees Fahrenheit (-28 Celsius), which drops to a wonderful 30-35 below with the windchill factor. It did begin to warm up after that, but the snow hasn't really stopped for longer than a day. After yesterdays 9+ inches, w have broken another record for the most snowfall in one month with 59.7 inches as of yesterday! That is almost six feet of snow in December alone and we still have another storm coming in the next day or so before the month ends!
I have definitely enjoyed the snow and had a blast playing in it with Natalie. Jamie is enjoying it when she doesn't have to drive anywhere. I have a few pictures from the first big storm and I hope to get more soon, but I have been busy shoveling our driveway and our roof (to prevent collapse) in my spare time. As of yesterday, I had to climb on top of the pile I have shoveled next to our driveway and shovel the top of it down further because it gets hard to throw a shovel full of snow any higher than about seven feet up, which is where the pile is right now. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
Think I am exaggerating...here's the proof - http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008571893_spokane30m.html
So my last blog was written after a few inches of snow fell. Well that first storm was a record breaker in that it dropped almost 20 inches of snow in a 24 hour period to register as the highest in a 24 hour period since they started keeping records here in 1893. the storm didn't stop after 24 hours though and we accumulated over two feet. We then got a break long enough to shovel our driveways before the next round of snow hit. A couple days later, we broke a record for the coldest temperature on record at this time of year with -18 degrees Fahrenheit (-28 Celsius), which drops to a wonderful 30-35 below with the windchill factor. It did begin to warm up after that, but the snow hasn't really stopped for longer than a day. After yesterdays 9+ inches, w have broken another record for the most snowfall in one month with 59.7 inches as of yesterday! That is almost six feet of snow in December alone and we still have another storm coming in the next day or so before the month ends!
I have definitely enjoyed the snow and had a blast playing in it with Natalie. Jamie is enjoying it when she doesn't have to drive anywhere. I have a few pictures from the first big storm and I hope to get more soon, but I have been busy shoveling our driveway and our roof (to prevent collapse) in my spare time. As of yesterday, I had to climb on top of the pile I have shoveled next to our driveway and shovel the top of it down further because it gets hard to throw a shovel full of snow any higher than about seven feet up, which is where the pile is right now. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
Think I am exaggerating...here's the proof - http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008571893_spokane30m.html
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Let it snow!
There are a lot of people here that are complaining about the snow we are getting right now, but let me just say that I love it! It has been nearly a decade since I have lived in a place that actually has a winter, and I have missed it greatly. Currently it is snowing steadily and we have probably gotten 3-4 inches in the last 6 hours and it is predicted to last until late tomorrow.
Anyway, I just thought I would make it clear that I enjoy the snow, I am loving it, and despite the crazy conditions for driving, I am thrilled to live in a place with real winter again! Hopefully I can take some pictures and get them up in a few days.
Anyway, I just thought I would make it clear that I enjoy the snow, I am loving it, and despite the crazy conditions for driving, I am thrilled to live in a place with real winter again! Hopefully I can take some pictures and get them up in a few days.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Immanuel
As Christmas approaches this year, we find ourselves exhausted, weary, and battered. Now for many people, that is just what the busy time of year does to them, but thankfully we have not been too busy with Christmas stuff this year. For us, the combination of moving, being sick, and having two kids that don't really like to sleep has caused our present condition. Shortly after we moved, I started to get better from my ear infection and sinus infection, Natalie also started to get better from her ear infection and then Jamie started having a ton of pain in her back (unrelated to the pain from our car accident a few weeks earlier). Come to find out that it is a pretty bad kidney infection that so far the medicine has been unable to kill. Between several trips to the doctor, an IV in her arm, and many painful sleepless nights we started to get really tired. Then, a few days ago, Natalie again came down with a pretty high fever and she has not slept more than 20 to 25 minute chunks for the last few nights. Wow.
If I am honest, I wonder how we will get through each day. Yet in the midst of this all, I am reminded of Christmas. Why does this remind me of Christmas? Let me try to explain.
We sing Christmas carols about a "silent night" and how "away in a manger...no crying he (Jesus) makes", but I just have a hard time thinking that is quite how it happened. Mary and Joseph had traveled on a long journey to a town that was not their own. Upon their arrival, they had to bed down in a barn (not known for their comfort) and give birth to a baby. Now I have no proof of this, but my guess is that Jesus did cry. My guess is that he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to eat, and that he needed his diaper changed (ok I don't think he probably had diapers like ours, but still...). So for Mary and Joseph, that first Christmas was likely a stressful time. They were traveling slowly on foot and by donkey, they were sleeping in a barn, and after being wearied by their travels, they had to welcome a baby into the world. There is nothing more wonderful than welcoming your child into the world, but there is also nothing more challenging and at times frustrating than trying to care for a crying baby who can't communicate all that well and requires constant attention. That is stress that I can relate to right now.
On top of all this, Mary and Joseph probably had a fair amount of stress from their social situation as well. Even today, in our more "tolerant" society, a young woman who becomes pregnant outside of marriage is often looked down upon. How much more then, in the jewish culture of their day. Imagine Joseph trying to explain to family, friends, or the teacher in his synagogue that he wanted to marry this pregnant woman who wasn't carrying his baby. I can imagine the disbelief as he tried to explain who the father was. My point is that not meeting the expectations of others socially can be quite stressful too.
Now I know that it is a few years later in the story, but not long after Jesus' birth, his parents were forced to flee to Egypt to protect Jesus' life. So they loaded up the UHaul and drove down the highway to Cairo and moved into a nice condo downtown. Oh wait, I don't think that is quite how it worked back then. They had to start over - new friends, new home, new work. Again, stressful.
In the end, I am encouraged by the fact that Jesus came in the midst of a stressful situation, to people with some pretty big challenges. And the truth is that their circumstances did not immediately get easier. In fact, one could say that that got more challenging. I mean if it weren't for Jesus, they wouldn't have had to flee to Egypt right? Anyway, the point is that Jesus came and yet that did not mean that Mary and Joseph got a free ticket to an easy life. What they got, was Jesus' presence in their lives. But isn't that how Jesus was all throughout his life? His followers didn't exactly have it easy, but they had him. Jesus comes to us in our messy lives and he doesn't ever promise take away all the challenges we are facing, he simply offers himself and his presence, which changes us more often than it changes our circumstances.
So in the midst of our current stress, frustration, exhaustion, and illnesses, I find myself clinging to the fact that Jesus was and is Immaneul - God with us. I will admit, I would love to have our circumstances change. In fact, I can't wait for them to change. But I can find comfort in the fact that Jesus came in the midst of very challenging circumstances 2000 years ago because I trust that he still comes in the midst of challenging circumstances. While the circumstances themselves may not change any time soon, I know that God is with us, and I pray that even if he chooses not to make things easier for us that He will change us and that he will give us the strength we need to face each day. Maybe someday, years from now, we will sing songs about our "silent night" because we remember the good that came from it and not only the challenges that made it so hard at the time.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Moving
I don;t know how the pendulum has swung so far to this side of things, but alas, here we are. I lived in the same house with my family from the time I was born until I went to college. We never moved once, and I didn't even have to move out of my bedroom. Since going away to college, I have lived in 9 different places. Since Jamie and I have been married, we have lived in 6 or 7 (depending on who's counting) different places in a little over 4 years. Now...we are moving again. Thankfully this will not involve hundreds of miles, a new town, and a new job - but it is still a lot of work nonetheless.
On top of the move in the next few weeks. We got rear ended last week and Jamie is still in a significant amount of pain (back and neck), she is sick with a fever for some reason, I have a horrible head cold that feels like my head is giving birth to a water buffalo, we have to try and get the car fixed, Jamie just started working again, We have a 7 week old daughter who is not good at sleeping, and we have an almost 2 year old daughter who is decent at sleeping but makes the days challenging since she is now learning boundaries. So between very little sleep for more than a month, a daughter pushing the limits on just about everything, and feeling horrible, we are pretty stressed out.
Such is life sometimes I guess. I am just glad that I love my girls so much. There is nobody else that can drive me so crazy and yet make my heart melt and laugh the next moment.
On top of the move in the next few weeks. We got rear ended last week and Jamie is still in a significant amount of pain (back and neck), she is sick with a fever for some reason, I have a horrible head cold that feels like my head is giving birth to a water buffalo, we have to try and get the car fixed, Jamie just started working again, We have a 7 week old daughter who is not good at sleeping, and we have an almost 2 year old daughter who is decent at sleeping but makes the days challenging since she is now learning boundaries. So between very little sleep for more than a month, a daughter pushing the limits on just about everything, and feeling horrible, we are pretty stressed out.
Such is life sometimes I guess. I am just glad that I love my girls so much. There is nobody else that can drive me so crazy and yet make my heart melt and laugh the next moment.
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