Children

So last night at church, our new pastor, Dan Lance (www.revrock.org), shared with us a challenging and yet encouraging message about a life poured out for Christ and others. I won't try to summarize the message since it will be available online at http://www.thestirring.org/listen.shtml within a week or two. I do, however want to share some reflections that are part my own, and part my wife's.
It can often be hard to separate ourselves from our own cultural lenses when examining our lives. We have had the incredibly valuable experience of living as minorities overseas for almost three years, and this allowed us to see our own culture more clearly in many ways. One of the most stark contrasts between our culture and the Filipino culture we lived in was the emphasis on family relationships. This blog entry is also not the place for an elegant comparison of cultures, but this is enough to bring me to the point of my ramblings. Children!
Jesus consistently cared for the most powerless, outcast, and marginalized people in his society when he walked the earth. As followers of his we are called to do the same, and Dan challenged us last night to think about who the marginalized in our own community are. While it is easy to think of homeless people, those living in poverty, and maybe ethnic minorities, I was challenged by another thought last night. Children. Not that any of the other groups are less deserving or less in need of Jesus' love. Children though, seem to be some of the most marginalized people in our American culture. We are so caught up in pursuing our own lives and our own "rights" to happiness and contentment, that we often toss aside our children or only give them the leftovers of a life that should be more fully devoted to caring for, nurturing, and teaching them.
It is not hard to see evidence of broken families in our American culture, and the children are the ones that are probably the most deeply affected by this indirect "violence" that is done to them. Yet even in families that are not broken visibly, children are consistently faced with the reality that many parents want to pursue their own dreams, their own career goals, and their own pleasure before they want to care for their children. How many families are caught up in pursuing the "American Dream" while neglecting their own children in order to make the mortgage payment, buy the new boat, or just get a lot o money? Truly this topic could be expounded upon for a great while, yet my point is merely to say that I believe children are one of the most marginalized, neglected, and powerless groups of people in our country.
Even as Christians, we must be careful of this tendency. My wife, Jamie, has chosen during the first year of our daughter's life, to stay at home with her while I work. Jamie is an amazingly talented woman with a Master's degree, a natural ability to organize and pay attention to details, and an incredible amount of brains, and honestly, I have no doubt that she could do my job more efficiently and more productively than me. Jamie could easily get any number of jobs in this area and get paid well enough to put Natalie into a great daycare and to have money left over for us to get more of the "stuff" that any good American could want. She could get a job that would allow her to have recognition, praise, and personal gain. Yet, she has chosen to spend her days with a very expressive, dramatic and wonderful one year old who neither gives her praise, nor recognition for all that she does. More than ever, I am convinced that she is living a life poured out for the "least of these" like Christ would have her do. Yet even in this, there is pressure at times from well meaning Christians to do something "useful" or more "ministry" focused. But often it really is just a clever way of say, "we don't value what you are putting your time into - why don't you do something more fulfilling or glorious?". Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to women working, I am not opposed to daycare, and I am not a male chauvinist. Rather, I would just like to say that we need to start valuing those who do take care of our children. Whether it is daycare providers, teachers, moms, dads, relatives, or anyone else - they are one of the least valued groups by our society oftentimes. Even when they do get recognition it is recognition for being a means to serve our own ends.
Will Jamie always stay at home? I don't know. But this isn't just about Jamie. It is about people all over the place who care for our children! Not only do we marginalize our children and neglect them for our own gain, but we also fail to value those that do care for them and thus, we marginalize them as well! Jamie is one of my heroes, and a constant challenge to me to live in a way that my life is poured out for others! It is easy to desire a life that is poured out for others in a glorious way. I sometimes dream of changing a whole town, a whole region, or even a country with the love of God. While that is a noble idea, part of what draws me to it is the recognition that might be received. It is much less glorious and rewarding to think about spending time with people who can't give you much recognition and who may not be appreciative for many years. Here again I come to Jesus. Jesus, spent time with many who could do nothing for him. He invested his life into so many people that were marginalized and neglected. And at the end of his life, he was abandoned to a lonely death without recognition, without glory, and without appreciation. If Jesus were to walk the streets of Redding, I know there are many that he would stop and care for. there are many hurting people that Jesus would pour out his life for with no question of recognition or status - only a desire to love and serve others. I am convinced that Jesus would care for the children in this area. And for those who daily pour out their lives to care for, love, and raise our children - I can not say thanks enough! You truly are walking in the way of Jesus! May we all begin to see those around us that are in need and may we begin to pour out our lives for others in a beautiful and powerful display of Jesus' sacrificing love!

Pain

Pain is interesting. I have lived with almost constant back and neck pain for several years now and for the most part I think that I deal with it ok. I have been realizing though, that it affects me more than I admit sometimes. It can significantly influence my emotions and my outlook on life at times. Pain is also interesting because it can be easy to compare my pain to someone else's and try to tell myself that mine is nothing compared to theirs - and it is true. But even though others may be in more pain than I am, it does not take mine away. I think someties we have so much pressure to be "strong" and have it all together so we just ignore or "medicate" the pain in our lives whether it is physical or emotional pain. Something I have been learning though, is that we have to be honest about our pain if we want it to be dealt with. Unless we admit that we have needs, nobody can help us. Much more can be said on this topic, but I just wanted to express that I am in pain. It doesn't mean that I am weak, or that my pain is even close to the pain many other people feel, but nonetheless, I am in pain. That's all...just thought I would be honest about what's on my mind.