Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Mentor

I have struggled with how to start this post. Do I try to define what a mentor is? Do I relate my personal experience (most of it frustrating) with trying to find a mentor? Should I talk about why I think mentors are a good thing? Those may all be good things, but I think that what I really want to do is just tell a story of a mentor and friend because the point of this post is not to discuss those other ideas, but to remember a dear friend and mentor.

Jamie and I lived in the Philippines for almost two and a half years. For many reasons that was a crazy and wonderful time in our lives. The greatest part of that experience though, was the people. About five days after we arrived in the Philippines, Greg Dowell came with his truck to help us move from one side of metro Manila ( where we were staying) to the other side (near our school). After loading our stuff into his truck, he offered to let me drive it up to Quezon City (where the school was). Now, this may not seem like that big of a deal, but we had barely recovered from jet lag and traffic in Manila is not anything like traffic here in the USA! Finally, he agreed to drive the truck, but after a lunch stop halfway through the city, he again offered and convinced me to drive. That was a terrifying trip for me the first time I drove in Manila traffic, but Greg seemed to be as calm as ever just chatting away with us.
That was my first experience with Greg Dowell, but I would eventually learn that that event displayed some of the characteristics that would shape our relationship after that as well. Greg was a person that continually encouraged me, and others around him, to step out and try things. Even if they were scary, and even if you were almost guaranteed to fail, he would encourage people to try. If something did end up failing or not working out like we expected or planned, Greg was always a person that would encourage us to try again without hesitation. In a place where just about everything was new and foreign to us, he helped us to face our hesitations and fears and experience life while often walking with us through those adventures.
I really got to know Greg a bit better when I took a class from him at the Graduate School we attended. Greg challenged me to think deeply about the issues we were studying, but he was never one to pressure people into a certain viewpoint. He challenged us, but allowed us room and time to grow and think and form our own opinions.
After we had lived in the Philippines for almost a year, Greg and his wife Stephanie invited us to live with them since we were looking for a place with a bit less pollution. We ended up living with them for almost a year and a half (longer than we have lived anywhere else in our married life). During that time, we got to know them and their three kids that were still living at home like family. But even then, it wasn't just a nice living arrangement. Greg was intentional about talking to me / us about the things that we were learning and thinking about and he included us in the work that they were involved in as well. In short, he not only opened his home to us, he opened his life to us. We would travel to the southern Philippines with him where he often sought our ideas, input, and participation in things that intimidated us and seemed so much bigger than us. Greg would also ask me to breakfast on Saturday mornings when he was available. We would both hop on our motorcycles and ride down the road to Tropical Hut, where we would sit and talk usually for a couple of hours while eating our beef tapa, rice, and eggs.
It's not just that Greg was available to me, it was that he invited me into relationship and encouraged me to take part in the things that he was doing as well. Greg impacted me and changed me not so much with profound words but with a life committed to loving others and sharing the truth of Jesus with them. By sharing himself and taking the time to let me share myself, he helped me grow in ways I am still discovering.
A few weeks ago, Greg passed away after more than a year of ups and downs with cancer. I still don't really know how to respond to all of what happened with him and his family. I guess this is my attempt to briefly remember a person who influenced and impacted my life more than I can say in a simple blog posting. For most of the few people that may read this, Greg is someone you did not know and will not have the pleasure of getting to know. My words don't begin to do him justice, but I just wanted to share that he has been on my heart and in my thoughts a lot lately. Rather than letting the overwhelming feelings of it all keep me in silence any longer, I just wanted to briefly share a bit about a great friend and mentor in my life.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I am so glad that you had the opportunity to find a great mentor in your life. You are right, it is NOT an easy thing and most people would never be as willing to open up their whole LIFE to someone like Greg did for you. It is a great great loss for you and his family and I will be praying for both.

Dana said...

Oh man guys....that is so hard. I can't believe what your hearts are going through. What an incredible guy he was to you both!