Silence

Let me just start by saying that there is great irony in the title of this entry. Silence. I initially wanted to call this silence because it has been so long since I have written in here. I suppose you could call it blog silence. I have not written in here or anywhere else for quite a while. There has been silence, or maybe absence, in some areas of my life.

The irony is that in the midst of that "silence" my life has been full of noise. The noise has been very literal at times, and figurative, yet no less powerful, at other times. Since the new year began, I have changed job responsibilities abruptly, had sick kids a lot, recovered from my own surgery and illnesses, gone through many emotional ups and downs, wrestled with the future, and enjoyed a lot of great moments with my family.

The noise has been both good and bad. It has been encouraging and challenging. Yet for a person that is a natural introvert, the noise gradually builds from sound bites here and there to a constant roar that consumes me. It is the noise of students at work that need so much help in their lives. It is the noise of social media grasping for my attention to make sure I don't miss what is going on in the life of a person I kind of know through an acquaintance. It is the noise of children who want me to delight in them and celebrate their every action. It is the noise of decisions and future plans. The noise of budgets, income, and bills. Everything competes for a bit of my time and attention.

Noise isn't a bad thing. I think that I just find myself getting so overwhelmed by noise at times that I forget to carve out time for being quiet. Time to sit and do nothing. Time to write. Time to read a book that isn't intellectually stimulating. There is no grand point to all of this. I simply am acknowledging that I have let so much noise into my head and life that I have "silenced" some areas of my life that are very important. How often do we sacrifice what is important for what is immediate? How often do I trade what I value for the many things around me that fight for my attention - demanding that they are somehow vital to my life? Am I just afraid of what I will hear when I am silent?