Death of the Bida

OK, first I need to answer the question "what is a bida?". Well the truth is, it is the word that Natalie has used for her pacifier ever since she could start to talk. I made up my own spelling for it since it is a made up word, but it is pronounced "bye-duh". We have no idea where she got the word from or why it stuck, but that is what it has been for the last 8 months. Yesterday, she suddenly decided to change! Instead of the normal request for her bida, she looked at me in the car and said "paci please". At first I was confused about what she wanted, but soon figured it out. OK Jeff, so what's the point?

No huge point really except to say that it caught me off guard and actually made me a little sad. I was trying to figure out why it made me sad and realized that it just felt like she was growing up and getting rid of her "baby" name for the pacifier. I know - who cares. Well I do. It was just one of those small moments when you see your kid growing up and you are so proud and excited and also sad about moving on to another stage.

Maybe it was a small incident and it is a rather uninteresting story admittedly, but it captured that mixed state of emotions that combine nostalgic sadness with proud excitement. I am just kind of emotional about the whole parenting thing sometimes. I used to think it was kind of odd that my grandparents would come to my basketball games, band concerts, etc. and my grandpa would always be crying. I think I am going to be a parent like that who is so proud and happy for my kids but overwhelmed by emotion so that I end up crying at their events and performances. I guess we can just hope that I learn to control it before they are teenagers and prohibit me from coming and crying in public around their friends...