Learning to Walk

Natalie is learning to walk. It is a unique transitionary stage for her right now as she sometimes courageously lets go of our hands and walks clear across the room, while other times her hesitation and indecision lands her in a heap of suprised cries on the floor. It is fascinating to watch as babies grow and develop, continually gaining new skills and new freedom with these abilities. Admittedly, parents can get a little over-excited at times about new things. I mean honestly, who really cares if the baby had its first solid poop? But walking is a major step (no pun intended) in a child's development! Natalie is currently about 10 1/2 months old and charging fast into the world of increased personal mobility. It is fascinating to watch her as she learns to walk. Her face communicates so much with each step that she takes!
Often when she is standing and holding on to an object, such as our coffee, table, you can see her face get very focused as she begins to turn her body and position her feet to walk somewhere. She will then scope out her destination and after some brief moments of hesitation, she usually lets go and starts walking towards her goal. In the fleeting moments of walking, her face can go from fear, as she starts to lose her balance, to determination, when all else but her goal seems to fade from her vision, and sometimes overwhelming joy, as she nears her destination and knows that she has made it their all by herself! Sometimes as she is walking towards me, I can hardly contain my happiness as I watch her getting closer to me and her face transforms into the hugest smile, rendering her eyes virtually useless since they become tiny slits above her full cheeks!

As I have reflected on the last week or so of Natalie's development in this new ability we call walking, I have had a lot of questions on my mind. If my child is so eager to try new things and take risks, why do I so often avoid them? What is it in a child that drives them to keep trying over and over agian, even after surprising, and sometimes painful failure? Why do I give up so easily after real or perceived failure when this little girl can't even talk yet is so persistent in her pursuit of her goal?

Being a parent is a crazy thing. It can bring out a lot of emotion, it can scare a person like nothing else, and it can make you feel more helpless and confused at times than any other situation I have been in. I suppose that we can respond to the role of parenting in a lot of different ways. There are thousands of books on parenting and even more opinions from concerned family, friends, and complete strangers. It has been mentioned, for instance, that children who learn to walk before they learn to crawl have a harder time learning to read later on. Whether it is accurateor not, it puts pressure on parent's to get their child to crawl "correctly". Natalie has never had a "normal" crawl but she gets around just fine with a sort of one legged monkey scoot. I will be honest, I am thrilled that Natalie is learning to walk, and I couldn't care less that she never crawled "correctly".

My point is that I could easily respond as a parent by being disappointed that she didn't progress through her development in the "best" way. I could try to teach her how to crawl, or do any number of other things that someone might think is important. OR, I could choose to celebrate her courage and determination as she increases her ability to walk on her own. I can encourage her and cheer her on for her own unique ways of doing things that really don't hurt anyone even if they are a bit "different" than the many conflicting ideals floating around. And maybe this answers some of my questions about my own life. Maybe adults stop taking risks and pursuing our goals with such dogged determination because we are too concerned about doing things "right". We fear that if we make the wrong choice, fail in our attempts, or risk big and lose big, that our lives will somehow tragically end. It can be hard to sort through all the voices that are out there telling us what is the "best" way to live. Encouragement is not always easy to come by as we step out and try things, but Natalie has challenged me to step out anyway. Natalie starts each walking adventure with the determination to try, and then she takes a step. That first step sometimes ends up being the only one she takes before a dramatic fall, but other times it can be the start of something great as she walks by herself all the way across our apartment! It all starts with a dream or a goal and a simple step forward. May I live more like Natalie each day as I take steps to not only dream again and have big goals, but also as I take small steps to pursue those goals repeatedly until I begin to see the fruits of my labor. May we all dream a little more and learn to walk again like a child!